As the chaos and calmness grow in strength through the collective, I feel inspired and exhausted. I feel angry and at peace. I feel surrender and strength. I often feel like giving up and yearning to return home, in a place of love and trust. I connect and find a unity of home inside of me, in the stillness.
I find a deeper value of love for my quintessential self. As my authenticity deepens, I see more clearly much of the deceptions of physical world and I also see how amazing and beautiful and authentic the physical world is and has been.
The more I surrender of my ego to being open and willing to expand further and be more loving, the more I feel and see the best in others and their loving selves. I also find I can feel more easily when others are not their quintessential or authentic selves.
I feel this deeper knowing of “marketing” and “it’s just business” and “being professional”. I have worked within corporate america 25 years. I see the parts I played along the way. I see how I believed what I was doing was “successful” in the structure for which I was taught was “good”. I see the manipulation, I often feel exhausted from the volume of the manipulations. I have always found my way through, as I see and feel more into authenticity.
As I embark on this journey on earth and my spiritual quests and mental quests and physical quests, I am more and more aware how different and how the same and related these quests are. I have found to be ready to see and feel and know myself - each of these quests must be in balance to have a harmonious journey and when these quests have not been in balance for me, I find lower vibrational experiences dominate my life (experience / observation).
I feel distant from humanity as I feel and watch many suffer and yearn for assistance and also fight venomously to defend the same suffering. I also feel closer than I ever have to humanity and deep love and compassion for what is occurring and what has occurred. I feel angry for the person lying to me and “selling” me lies - I also feel compassion as this person is taught to do this and feels it is “okay” and this same person, is not relating that this energy and action will return to them and thus they create their own suffering. As in return they will be lied to and “sold” lies. I had to look at my life and surrender to myself for all I had done, knowingly and unknowingly - look at the lies I had told (myself and others) - and I had to embrace the change to be more authentic and raw and me — and be open to know I am forever changing. I am forever expanding and changing and being.
I feel overwhelmed. I surrender. I cry - allowing the release of physical energy to bring in a calm and warmth. I breathe. I request my Higher Self to assist me. I seek out to remember who Am I. I recognize and connect with love in my heart. I breathe and wait to feel love’s warmth in my heart. Then, I connect with my mentaL body, my physical brain and my non physical mind, I request peace and calm for balance. I desire not to fight and battle, as I know the vibrations which are not harmonious will dominate. I embrace lovingly the exchange of peace in the mind and feel the calmness settle into the brain and mind. With love in my heart and peace in my mind I move forward on that wave and request & bequest abundance in flow. Abundance on the foundation of love and peace to flow to me and from me.
I find this deepening ever more for me. I find I am open and willing to let go more of the system for which I find feeds the energies of my suffering. To be more authentic to deep layers of the physical world and know more of where my energy goes. What I am giving my permission to, by participating in that system; be it work, purchases, time spent, spent with whom, doing what, life?
I see and feel, the energies and how they flow. I see that what comes at me in this now, is from a past now and when I see it and feel it and know it’s name and know where it came from, I can then change how I react and put my energy (my thoughts, feelings and reactions) into a direction of what “I” want, from a loving, peaceful and abundant place.
Ignorance is bliss. Many times in exhaustion, I would have agreed. As I am where I am and I see what I see and feel what I feel, I inner-stand in this now that ignorance is not bliss, rather ignorance is a vibration cell of entrapment into a perpetuity of perpetual suffering. When the shackles of my ignorance loosen more, I see more and feel more. Again, I am reminded along my quest of the three quests (spiritual, mental and physical) and balance for harmony.
I find in this dance of what was duality, has morphed into a place of flow and balance, accessing both of dualities from a foundation of love and authenticity.
Remembering who I am
With Love,
Gage 🧙♂️🏔🌲❤️